E3 2011

The title of this post is deceiving, since this is mostly a message to Microsoft (Don't get me started on the Vita or Wii U).

Microsoft, buddy, we got some issues to talk about. We (gamers) have been growing concerned over the last couple E3s but its gotta stop. Here are some of my observations of your press conference.

Stop it with the kid shit. Disneyland Adventures and Sesame Street have no fucking business even being at E3, better yet the Xbox 360 briefing! Why? People watching E3 are not the target of these games. Do kids even know about E3?! No one watching E3 got excited and said "I can't wait for Disneyland Adventures!". Even parents don't care, a father who plays video games isn't watching E3 for gift ideas.

"But," you say, "this is showing off the Kinect!" Shut. Your. Whore. Mouth. A lot of gamers already hate the Kinect, why are you making it worse by showing games for 6 year olds? Its even worse when you show child actors or whoever playing the games, pretending to have fun. I have a Kinect, so stuff like Ryse, Ghost Recon and Star Wars were actually pretty cool. But then you show dumb shit like people playing football. I don't think there was a single person watching who didn't facepalm at that.  Next year I'll have a drinking game where every time something like this happens, I take a shot. I could die of alcohol poisoning Microsoft, do you want that on your conscience?

Now that I've vented a bit there's also some good stuff I haven't mentioned, like Halo 4, the Halo 1 remake, MW3 and  Gears 3.

Now how do we fix the embarrassing issues? The first step is simple: if someone comes to you and says "We should show (insert game for kids 8 and under here) at our E3 press conference", you slap them and tell them to get the fuck out of your office.

The next solution is send it to me. Honestly, type up an itinerary and e-mail it to me. I will tell you what I think for free.

Overall, E3 this year has been lackluster, with the exceptions of MW3, Dead Island, and Bioshock Infinite.

Thoughts On Microsoft's E3 Conference

Damn! First off, DAMN!
That was amazing. Now before I continue I must throw this in:
CALLED IT!
Alan Wake did indeed have an EPIC demo and looked amazing!

Modern Warfare 2 looked great, but it felt like the demo they showed was rushed, in opposition of Modern Warfare 1's slower demo.

Beatles Rockband will indeed have Back In The USSR, I'm Sold.

SPLINTER CELL CONVICTION! HOLY SHIHTZUS! Looked jaw droppingly good!

Then Natal. I'll admit, parts were a little corny. But goddamn! Milo was creepy but even more amazing!

Then throw in Facebook and Twitter. Left 4 Dead 2, Crackdown 2, and
HOLY CRAP DID HALO ODST LOOK GOOD

My E3 Thoughts...

E3 is/was the Christmas of my gaming religion. The Electronic Entertainment Expo is my Mecca. Unfortunately, this year I was on vacation the same week as the show. But now that I've gotten a chance to take it all in, here are my thoughts on Microsoft presentation and miscellaneous E3 items:



Microsofts Presentation

• Fallout 3 looks bloody amazing! (And I'm not kidding about the blood)


• Resident Evil 5 comes out March 13! Can you say birthday present for me?!


• Fable 2 is going to be a must by for me this year. It looks incredible!


• All I can say about the Gears of War 2 trailer they showed: Damn!


• All I can say about the Gears of War 2 demo they showed: GOD DAMN!


• How the hell am I going to afford Fable 2, Gears of War 2 and Fallout 3?


• Live Party (you and friends able to talk and go into different game instantly) sounds sweet.


• Primetime, which is basically a game show channel where you compete and possibly win prizes, looks amazing! Especially 1 vs. 100. My only concern is that Canada is gonna get screwed over again.


• The dashboard update looks great, I'm also excited about the harddrive installation idea.


• I'm uncertain about Avatars, they look better than Miis but still a little too cartoony for many people.


• Microsoft's Lips looks fun, if it works for Rock Band 2, I may get it for Christmas! I love that you can play iPod songs on it!


• 500 songs for Rock Band 2 is amazing! But not as amazing as AC/DC!


• I'm not a fan of RPG's (Role Playing Games, not Rocket Propelled Grenades) by any means, but you'd have to be an idoit to not know that Square Enix and Final Fantasy are huge for the Xbox 360.

Mischellanious

• The boys at Ensemble have done a great job with Halo Wars, it looks great, fun to control, and I'm glad it comes out next year (I can't afford more games!)


• I Am Alive (surivial game) should be good if it's done right, which Ubisoft should be able to do.


• Red Alert 3! Do I need to say more?


• Fine then, the units look awesome, the buildings look awesome, Christ the landscape looks awesome! Take a look a the water in RA2-

Compared to RA3-

Need I say more?

Ghostbuster looks okay too.

Finally I have sad post E3 news, Splinter Cell has been delayed until 2009-2010!

21 hours, 45 minutes and 30 seconds to go!

Soon I will be embarking on a trip to the United States of America. Specifically New York City and Pennslyvania. Hopefully I'll be able to update my blog. This is important because this week is my religion's Christmas. E3! See you later...